June is Near

Same story different day.........

Feelings

I found myself part of a conversation, at the local bar last week.  It seems when we all got to comparing reasons for being where we were, they were exactly the same.  We lived alone, and the loneliness had driven us out of our homes, to come and be around people.  This gave us a certain amount of time to be away from the 4 walls and hear another person's voice, ideas and feelings.  During all of this, neither one even considered being in a relationship with one of these other persons sitting in that bar.  For whatever reasons we may have had, it all came down to going home alone once we left and finished out our evening excursions.

Christmas

Looks as though I will be alone this year on Christmas Day..at least part of it anyway.........this is par for the course, since I have isolated myself from most people who are users.  Users tend to ask your for this and that without ever caring whether or not they are over extending you kindness or services.  I have five children who have lives of their own and are spending Christmas with their friends and families.  I just don't happen to be included in their festivities.  My Mom, is in the hospital and that has changed plans, with my sister to the point of not having anything, so to speak.  She's placing all her efforts around Mom, and my step dad since they are so old, it may be their last Christmas.  This I understand, but loosing the rest of the holiday just doesn't fit the scenario.  So, since I had planned to spend Christmas with her, I'm left to a limited amount of the day to enjoy.  I suppose, that this is what I should have expected, since I no longer have a spouse in my life and can't rely on others for my happiness.  I can't give the extra efforts, when I don't feel them, and I don't consider making myself go out of my way, something that makes me happy.  I can be alone and not have to put up with what others expect of me, even if it pisses them off at me.  They are doing what they want ........anyway.  Why shouldn't I?

Lonely People

All the lonely People.......

A lonely person will be less trusting of others, essentially "making a mountain out of a molehill. An odd look or phrasing by a friend that wouldn't even be noticed by a chipper person could be seen as an affront to the lonely, triggering a cycle of negative interactions that cause people to loose friends. A lonely person is likely to lose touch with another person, who in turn gets cut off from others, and both end up on the fringes of a social group. It is more of a state such as hunger, which evolved as a cue to motivated our ancestors to go find food.
Over time, lonely individuals become lonelier and transmit such feelings to others before severing ties. "People with few friends are more likely to become lonelier over time, which then makes it less likely that they will attract or try to form new social ties.

All By Myself

It's the same wherever I go.......

Sad Eyes

A song that tells how it is......

Not In Love

A very sad thing to be......been there done that.....

I Miss

I get older everyday, and wonder what tomorrow will bring.  Will I turn the corner and there will be the one I'm looking to find.  Will I meet someone who I can get involved with.  Should I even hope, when everything seems so bleak?  I miss being with someone, holding them close and feeling loved.  I miss being special to a person, who cares that I'm alive and in their life.  It's so hard to be alone, without someone to love you and need  you.  I keep hoping that I can find a person, who will want me as much as I will want them.

Each One

I was sitting around several people the other evening, and found we all had the same thing in common.  We were in that bar, drinking in order to be out of the four walls, where we found so much loneliness.  Here were several people, who were all lonely and no interest in the people they were talking to, except the sound of someone's voice, and conversation.  Just a few conversations, about different subjects brought us back to the same subject of being alone, and tired of the empty place we lived.  I realized that I wasn't the only person, in this world that had found the loneliness too hard to bare constantly.

A Reason

It's very hard to go places and see couples and families together, during this time of the year.  They say that the holiday's are very hard on people who are alone, or elderly alone.  It's very rough to suffer through the loneliness when you see others enjoying themselves.  I reach out to people for needed attention, and many times get snubbed or given a cold shoulder.  It's just not fair that so many have love and happiness, which they don't appreciate.  I would love to have someone in my life to be with and make a life with daily.  A cat just doesn't make up the difference, when it comes to having a relationship.  I really need someone, to give me a reason to be alive and enjoy it on a daily basis.  What's wrong with wanting to love and be loved?

Links

Unchained Melody 117-Out of the Blue 118-The Lure Of the Unknown 119-Maricel’s 120-my blog 121-Spiff, the Spaceman 122-Living Well 123-The Dog Log 124-Catnip Corner 125-A Piece of Idea 126-Observations From the Back 40 127-Poetry by The Redneck Gypsy 128-Odd Facts 129-Juliana’s Lair 130-My life is murphy’s law 131-lisgoldsmemoirs 132-My memories, as time goes by 133-Somewhere over the rainbow 134-Blogging by Sandee 135-Our Journey to this so called life 136-Idaho Daily Photo 137-Memories that Never Fades..

Sadness

Somewhere?

Your Friends

Friends.......They love you,

But they're not your lover

They care for you,

But they're not from your family

They're ready to share your pain,

But they're not your blood relation.

They are........FRIENDS! !!!!

A True friend..... .

Scolds like a DAD..

Cares like a MOM..

Teases like a SISTER..

Irritates like a BROTHER..

And finally loves you more than a LOVER.

Sometimes

Sometimes...

when you cry....

no one sees your tears.



Sometimes...

when you are in pain.

no one sees your hurt.



Sometimes.

when you are worried..

no one sees your stress



Sometimes..

when you are happy..

no one sees your smile .....

Friends?

How can you call yourself a friend, when all you do is want to take advantage of me and our relationship?

All I Ever Wanted

My old flame, has been found after all these years.  The wonderful part is he's still alive.  The unhappy part for me is:  he's still married to the same woman, after all these years.  This is the one that got away, or should I say the one that his mom took from me.  I still do not know what made this woman do the dreadful deed that she did, but now I know there's always a reason, for everything.  Back when all this was happening, I sure didn't understand that concept.  I was full of hurt and rage from being lied on and misunderstood.  The fact that he chose to believe her instead of me, made it even harder to swallow.  I hadn't done one thing that his mother accused me of.  I was innocent and lost as to why she would do this?  Why?  I'll never know!

Emotions

Lately, mine have been running wild with all sorts of feelings.  I found an old love awhile back and it's been a real battle of emotions, ever since.  You must understand that I have been through several relationships during my years of life, and this leads me to where I am today.  I know that it's hard to find love at any age.  When I say love, it's a reference to the real thing.  Not, just a passing or lingering relationship.  I'm talking about the one that  lasts through thick and thin, with someone who loves you just as much.  That one is very hard to find, and I feel the day will never come.  How about you?

New Blog

A new blog is always uncertain, and as I begin this one I wonder about the outcome. I know that many who read this will wonder about the person, writing it. Yes, I am alone! Yes, I am lonely and wish things were different.

This blog is going to be an outlet for my feelings and possible encouragement to others who are in the same situations, as I.

So, here we go and please feel free to correspond with me by leaving comments.

Sincerely,

Nita