Holiday's

I'm at the point in life, where there is less of activities to do and more of me in body size.  This set of holiday's will be with just me and my husband!  We don't get out and about to visit much!  He works all week and doesn't feel like doing anything but resting on the weekends.... I understand that and don't push him, to do much!  
We stay pretty much to ourselves, and leave the drama to the people who enjoy it........less stress for us! So, I send out gift cards to a select few, and we just stay home and I cook a meal.........we eat, watch TV or do things on the computer..... exciting, huh?  Either way, we are not on the roads, where the traffic can cause all kinds of problems, we're not out in public, where all types of crimes are being committed.  We, are safely inside our world, with no outside interference!  Cozy, huh?

Too Cold!

Time to get the house all warm, cause it's cold outside.......... yuck!  I hate cold weather, I never can seem to get my feet and legs comfortable.  I have to bundle up and then my body is still an iceberg, with all those clothes on.  
I get in bed at night and my body is ice cold.....talking about electric blanket......oh yeah!  Warm me up!  Even that seems to take a few minutes........I have woke up in the middle of the night and my feet still be cold, under the electric blanket!
It's understood, that we don't touch each other, when we first get in bed with cold feet and hands....... :( both of us would be cussing and jumping away from the ice!  LOL! :)

Feel It

Here it comes.........you can feel it.  You know there's going to be trouble.  No way to stop it, because it's been coming for awhile now.  You and your significant other have been at odds with no truce.  It bees that way sometimes......... LOL

Time

It's amazing how fast time slips by when you are busy making a life with someone.  Only yesterday, we met, right?  No, but it seems that way, and now after 3&1/2yrs, we are married and things are doing fair.  By that I mean, that we are accepting each others faults and dealing with them, so we can have a life together.  Thank God, there's love, honor and respect, oh yes loyalty as well.  
I don't worry about him running around on me and he's always predictable.  Very hard to find a person, of his nature, and for that I am thankful.

Miserable

Not only is it raining, but last night it was a "put up with" night.  Putting up with a man, who treat

Lost

Trying to love and support someone who is on a downhill slide, saps the very strength you have.

Hate??

There's a fine line between love and hate, so they say.  It is a major word in my life's feelings and emotions presently.  I want this person to see what their doing to us and yet they seem to take even more advantage of my goodness and feeling towards them.
I've tried to give this thing to God, and every time I do, Satan yanks it back and slams it in my face. I'm hurting from all the unhappy moments I'm experiencing from this person.  I want back what we had when we first met and yet I realize that it was a stepping stone for his final actions.  He chose an old woman who he could con and move in on and now he's got exactly what he wants.  Somehow, I must find the strength to handle his ass and move him out of my life, home and emotions.  Coming home to an empty house will be one of the hardest parts of getting rid of him.  Pray for me, that I may be able to be strong in this endeavor, please?

Is It?

It comes to the time when you know the other person is never going to change.  You seek some sort of peace in knowing that things aren't as bad as the relationships, you've had before.  Yet, you know this person is dragging you down and keeping you there.  You ask yourself how, this could be happening, when you are so damned strong?  You know that you can make it on your own, without this person, yet here you are.  Caught up in a relationship and not wanting to be alone. Sometimes, things are good, but most of the time, it's just a hell here on earth being with this person.  
The good in this person, does not out weigh the bad.......yet, they don't hit on me, run around on me.....so what am I to do?  

Once

Once these two people had a relationship, that was going somewhere.  They thought that things could go on forever.  This picture is one of several taken that day as their engagement pic's, for that time.  About two months later, it was history as were the pictures' story.  I was sad about it at the time, but today I have a clearer picture of what was happening during these times.  Just too bad that there's not always a "silver lining" to most stories.

Today

It's been a work in progress, for us and we have tried to get it going always in the right direction.  Maybe, just maybe we are getting it right?  There's no set way or pattern to make for a good relationship with your spouse.  You just play it by ear, hope for the best and do your damnest to make it work.  If you find that your love is good, with all the efforts, then you may have something worth holding on to.  
Complete trust in each other is one of the best things to have in a relationship.  This is a subject which is very important to all relationships.  When you have it, then the other subjects can fall into place around it.  I hope we will stay in the place we are and never loose the good we've built in the last year.

My Health

Just when things were going well, I up and did a stupid thing and now my health is questionable because of it.  I took 2 sinus pills last week when I had a head full of sinus, trying to get some relief.  Well, I almost got the final relief, when my blood pressure shot up to 179/90 and a blood vessel burst in my right eye.  It looks horrible and I'm real shaky and feel my pulse being rapid very often.  It's scary and I'm even worried about having any private times with my man?  That's even scarier since it makes your blood pressure elevate, while having sex.  Damn, this just isn't right and I worry that it will be a permanent problem.  I just can't win, no matter how hard I try!

Stupid Me

I went and read what he had to say..........I give up!  This person thinks that him telling me "not to give up that there's someone out there for me" is a good thing.  Actually, the way he's coming across is that he's trying to make contact, keep his foot in the door and let me know he's still interested.  Fuck him.

SOSDD

Yesterday was a day of remorse.  I just can't seem to get it right no matter how I try.  These damn men, think I must be hard up for needing them.  This is so far from reality and they are esteeming themselves too high.  I don't need them........I would love to have someone.......but if it's going to be drama, trauma, abuse and crap then to hell with it.  I don't need being manipulated and talked to like I'm a child.  I well over the age of 21 and can take care of myself, thank you.
Damn, just when you think you've gotten rid of someone, they show up again.  Now, I got to go handle the situation that has arisen.  Will get back with you later about this one.

Not Again

You'd think I'd learn after all these years, about men.  Two topics are always on their minds...........sex, and food.  If he's not horny, then he's hungry.  Damn it, why in the hell don't they give me a chance.  Get to know me first before they want to jump in the sack with me?  Hell, I want to know what and who I'm laying down with.  He could be a serial rapists....a thief, a criminal on the loose...........I need to know that this person is above board, which is hard to connect with these days.  If I were young as I once was, then I might be stupid enough to jump in head first, without thinking.  Today, being mature gives me restraint when it comes to getting in the bed with a person, I just met.  It's only good sense to protect yourself, every way possible.  Damn these idiots that think I'm old and prudish. 

I'm Sorry

Yeah, it's been awhile since I posted on here, but it's only because I've had to put up with crap that was always in the way.  As a matter of fact, all of my blogs have suffered because of one thing or another that has developed in my life.  I've been lonely and always trying to stay away from thinking about it.  Yet, there are times, I should be on here writing what I feel.  I think I want a relationship and then I start thinking about the pitfalls that come with one.  It's not long before I've talked myself out of it and am glad to be without someone in my life.  Guess I've just gotten old and set in my ways.  Lonely can wait on solitude and peace.

I Hurt Me......

I did it again this week..........I went out and socialized with people who really don't give a damned about me, and some even cringe when I walk in.  I end up feeling emotionally abused by these idiots because of their ugly stares or nasty remarks.  It's part of the bar scene and I realize that you can't make people like you.  But damn it, it would be nice to socialize with them without all the crap involved.  There's always one in every crowd that's miserable and takes it out of the others.  I sure hope it's not me? 
So, I end up coming home, once again........ALONE.....knowing that I need to stop this shit, but also hoping that maybe I made a small contact with someone that was really needed.

Poor Me

Change?

I remember how I was so ready for a change, and that my world had become stagnant and boring. I kept telling people, that something had to change, that I was in a rut. I definitely was in a rut!
Get up, get ready, go to work, get off work, drive to the local club, have a few brews, leave and get something on the way home to eat or wait till I got home and throw something together. Then watch enough TV to get sleepy and go to bed.........that was it. Nothing great or wonderful to enjoy or do!
Well, change does happen and it did........at first it was the most wonderful change I could have ever hoped for..........well, it was good while it lasted, but it didn't last long enough for me.........and the change once again reared it's ugly head......this time for the worse......and once again........I'm in a rut.........alone.......and bored........

2013

As it came and went so did things around me, without a hitch.  It was an evening of staying home, alone and passing the time on the computer and watching the evening news.  After that I tried to watch the "Big D NYE", but became sleepy.  So, I went to bed and listened to the distance fireworks as I drifted off into a lonely sleep. 

As I look back on 2013, I realize that many things which happened didn't need to.  I also realize that things happen for a reason.  Still I can't accept some of them as being helpful, when actually they are very expensive.  Yes, some of the events got my attention, but they were the one's that were the most expensive. 

Now, comes another year to play, learn and hopefully enjoy what life has in store for me.  I hope that some of the loneliness I've experienced in the last few years, will be replaced with great joy, happiness and the big one "love"!

Same story different day.........