Holiday's

I'm at the point in life, where there is less of activities to do and more of me in body size.  This set of holiday's will be with just me and my husband!  We don't get out and about to visit much!  He works all week and doesn't feel like doing anything but resting on the weekends.... I understand that and don't push him, to do much!  
We stay pretty much to ourselves, and leave the drama to the people who enjoy it........less stress for us! So, I send out gift cards to a select few, and we just stay home and I cook a meal.........we eat, watch TV or do things on the computer..... exciting, huh?  Either way, we are not on the roads, where the traffic can cause all kinds of problems, we're not out in public, where all types of crimes are being committed.  We, are safely inside our world, with no outside interference!  Cozy, huh?

Need To Relax?

If I get down there, I'll need someone to help me get back up, but it does look relaxing...... :)  http://nitawatson44.sbcnewresolution.com

Feel It

Here it comes.........you can feel it.  You know there's going to be trouble.  No way to stop it, because it's been coming for awhile now.  You and your significant other have been at odds with no truce.  It bees that way sometimes......... LOL

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Hate??

There's a fine line between love and hate, so they say.  It is a major word in my life's feelings and emotions presently.  I want this person to see what their doing to us and yet they seem to take even more advantage of my goodness and feeling towards them.
I've tried to give this thing to God, and every time I do, Satan yanks it back and slams it in my face. I'm hurting from all the unhappy moments I'm experiencing from this person.  I want back what we had when we first met and yet I realize that it was a stepping stone for his final actions.  He chose an old woman who he could con and move in on and now he's got exactly what he wants.  Somehow, I must find the strength to handle his ass and move him out of my life, home and emotions.  Coming home to an empty house will be one of the hardest parts of getting rid of him.  Pray for me, that I may be able to be strong in this endeavor, please?

Jimmy Dean

For those of you who like country music, this is a good one.

SOSDD

Yesterday was a day of remorse.  I just can't seem to get it right no matter how I try.  These damn men, think I must be hard up for needing them.  This is so far from reality and they are esteeming themselves too high.  I don't need them........I would love to have someone.......but if it's going to be drama, trauma, abuse and crap then to hell with it.  I don't need being manipulated and talked to like I'm a child.  I well over the age of 21 and can take care of myself, thank you.
Damn, just when you think you've gotten rid of someone, they show up again.  Now, I got to go handle the situation that has arisen.  Will get back with you later about this one.

Not Again

You'd think I'd learn after all these years, about men.  Two topics are always on their minds...........sex, and food.  If he's not horny, then he's hungry.  Damn it, why in the hell don't they give me a chance.  Get to know me first before they want to jump in the sack with me?  Hell, I want to know what and who I'm laying down with.  He could be a serial rapists....a thief, a criminal on the loose...........I need to know that this person is above board, which is hard to connect with these days.  If I were young as I once was, then I might be stupid enough to jump in head first, without thinking.  Today, being mature gives me restraint when it comes to getting in the bed with a person, I just met.  It's only good sense to protect yourself, every way possible.  Damn these idiots that think I'm old and prudish. 

I'm Sorry

Yeah, it's been awhile since I posted on here, but it's only because I've had to put up with crap that was always in the way.  As a matter of fact, all of my blogs have suffered because of one thing or another that has developed in my life.  I've been lonely and always trying to stay away from thinking about it.  Yet, there are times, I should be on here writing what I feel.  I think I want a relationship and then I start thinking about the pitfalls that come with one.  It's not long before I've talked myself out of it and am glad to be without someone in my life.  Guess I've just gotten old and set in my ways.  Lonely can wait on solitude and peace.

I Hurt Me......

I did it again this week..........I went out and socialized with people who really don't give a damned about me, and some even cringe when I walk in.  I end up feeling emotionally abused by these idiots because of their ugly stares or nasty remarks.  It's part of the bar scene and I realize that you can't make people like you.  But damn it, it would be nice to socialize with them without all the crap involved.  There's always one in every crowd that's miserable and takes it out of the others.  I sure hope it's not me? 
So, I end up coming home, once again........ALONE.....knowing that I need to stop this shit, but also hoping that maybe I made a small contact with someone that was really needed.

Involved

In the last week I have been slack about my posting.  It's been a sad time for millions as we watch the life of Whitney Houston be snuffed out at such an early age.  It's trauma caused more than she could imagine.  People who loved her singing now must go on with only her memories.  I'm sure that her family can only fear the days ahead without her.  Friends must come to their aide when needed for emotional support.  Along with so many people I bid you "farewell" and may you rest in peace.

Poor Me

Depression

People, who think Depression is a choice, take a second to think. How would it feel to wake up and not having the emotional strength to face people? To think that time is just passing by with no real reason? To feel so alone even when you are sitting in a room full of people? To have to put on a face and hide your feelings because in your mind you think no one would care anyway? To lose friends be......cause you can’t find the strength to go out and you can’t physically be ‘happy’? To cry yourself to sleep, hoping you wouldn’t wake up then when you do you are exhausted from the night before, and it all starts again? You try to hide your feelings hoping no one would notice. Now tell me why someone would choose that? Depression is an illness, not a choice.

Where?

Feelings

I found myself part of a conversation, at the local bar last week.  It seems when we all got to comparing reasons for being where we were, they were exactly the same.  We lived alone, and the loneliness had driven us out of our homes, to come and be around people.  This gave us a certain amount of time to be away from the 4 walls and hear another person's voice, ideas and feelings.  During all of this, neither one even considered being in a relationship with one of these other persons sitting in that bar.  For whatever reasons we may have had, it all came down to going home alone once we left and finished out our evening excursions.

Lonely People

All the lonely People.......

A lonely person will be less trusting of others, essentially "making a mountain out of a molehill. An odd look or phrasing by a friend that wouldn't even be noticed by a chipper person could be seen as an affront to the lonely, triggering a cycle of negative interactions that cause people to loose friends. A lonely person is likely to lose touch with another person, who in turn gets cut off from others, and both end up on the fringes of a social group. It is more of a state such as hunger, which evolved as a cue to motivated our ancestors to go find food.
Over time, lonely individuals become lonelier and transmit such feelings to others before severing ties. "People with few friends are more likely to become lonelier over time, which then makes it less likely that they will attract or try to form new social ties.

A Reason

It's very hard to go places and see couples and families together, during this time of the year.  They say that the holiday's are very hard on people who are alone, or elderly alone.  It's very rough to suffer through the loneliness when you see others enjoying themselves.  I reach out to people for needed attention, and many times get snubbed or given a cold shoulder.  It's just not fair that so many have love and happiness, which they don't appreciate.  I would love to have someone in my life to be with and make a life with daily.  A cat just doesn't make up the difference, when it comes to having a relationship.  I really need someone, to give me a reason to be alive and enjoy it on a daily basis.  What's wrong with wanting to love and be loved?

Sadness

Somewhere?

Sometimes

Sometimes...

when you cry....

no one sees your tears.



Sometimes...

when you are in pain.

no one sees your hurt.



Sometimes.

when you are worried..

no one sees your stress



Sometimes..

when you are happy..

no one sees your smile .....